Death Dreamer Dreams Again

Many years ago during my Shamanic Training, whilst in a Vision Quest Ceremony, I received the Medicine Name ‘Death Dreamer’.

I was told that this was the Medicine that I held, that this was a big part of my gift in the Shamanic Realms. 

I did not fully understand what this meant at the time, but over the years, bit by bit, this gift has revealed itself to me more fully.

The Lovers In Eden

Dan and I met at Knockengorroch Festival in Scotland, exactly 16 years ago, on the May Bank Holiday in 2007, which my good friend Tim had dragged me to.

Six months previously, I had attended an intensive two week Shamanic De-Armouring Retreat that had totally de-constructed me down to Ground Zero.  It was a huge shedding of an old and worn out skin, stripping away much of this life-time’s pain and trauma, leaving me somewhat shell-shocked.

When festival season hit the following May, I was still hiding under a rock, feeling pretty delicate in my new beautiful, soft and shiny skin, partway through the process of re-constructing myself anew, and I was not really up for crewing a festival with my usual circle of traveller festival friends. 

However, Tim convinced me that I didn’t need to do anything, just be a driver to transport people and stuff in my van, and eventually I agreed.  

On the very first night the festival opened, I met Dan for the first time outside the Dance Tent.  We got chatting, he offered me some of his drink, and then he grabbed my hand and dragged me in, and we danced the night away together as Zion Train played live.

When we both emerged from my van the next morning, Tim laughed and raised an eyebrow at me.

I told him that I had met the man that I would be with for a long time.  

I knew this because I had dreamed of Dan twice before in the previous couple of years.  

I had been waiting for this man in my dreams to show up in real life.

I knew that Dan was literally the man of my dreams as I recognised his energy and the gentle way he touched me from these powerful dream encounters.

My Soul recognised his Soul immediately.

16 years on, Tim recently reminded me of that morning’s conversation over coffee, and he reminded me that I had also told him that I only foresaw two problems with this liaison - that Dan was a massive caner, and that he didn’t believe in God.

These two issues would prove themselves to be major problems in our relationship in the years to come, and in truth, were probably two nails in the coffin of it, present from the outset.

But Love doesn’t want to see such bumps in the road of Destiny, and we spent years trying to pretend that these issues didn’t matter, or trying to find routes and compromises around them.

The star-crossed Lovers believed that Love would win the day, and that the bumps could be smoothed out.

We spent the rest of the festival together, and when it ended, we agreed to meet up again at home in Yorkshire where, synchronistically, we both lived.

Dan was living in a house in Eden Crescent in Leeds, and my boat was moored up just outside the city a few miles away.  

For the first few months that we were together, The Universe kept sending me signs and symbols of the story of the Garden of Eden.  Dan lived in Eden Crescent, and on his bedside table he had a little basket with a model of a King Cobra poking its head out of the top.

Snakes are another powerful shamanic symbol for me, and I have been relentlessly dreaming about snakes since childhood.  King Cobras, however,  had only been coming for the previous six months since De-Armouring.  

It was another synchronicity that was too obvious for me to ignore.  

In my dreams, the Cobras would always be chasing me and trying to bite me.  

I didn’t know what this meant then.  

16 years on, with a lot more shamanic experience under my belt, I now know that the Cobra is one of the symbols my Spirit Guides use to tell me that there is a Death Curse present. 

But I didn’t know that then.

Water Gypsies - The Panther Prowls In Eden

Within six months of meeting Dan, he had bought his first boat ‘FreeStar’.  

He loved my lifestyle of living on the water, and soon after buying his first boat, he completely stripped out her insides due to some serious damp issues, and re-built her.  

He did an amazing job and she became his first, very comfortable and beautiful, floating home. 

During this time, my boat ‘Waterwitch’ was out of the water on hard-standing, waiting for a completely new bottom to be welded on, and so I moved onto ‘FreeStar’ with Dan.

We were beautifully in love with one another, blissfully enjoying our honeymoon period.  

We did everything together, basically lived in each other’s pockets, and were only apart when we went to work.

He was out in the countryside mostly, in his capacity as a Countryside Ranger.

He was never happier than when doing some kind of physical work out in the woods.

This was his happy place.

Boat life seemed to be good for Dan’s Soul too.

He calmed down his wild partying and put his efforts into his boat and his work.

I was 30 when we met and he was 27.  

I had explained to him from the beginning that my biological clock was ticking loudly and that I wanted children.  

I told him that he was on a three year trial, for me to see if he was good father material, and if after three years, he was proving himself to be responsible and reliable, that children were the next step in my long-term plan.  

I told him that if he wasn’t interested in sharing this future with me, that he could leave.  But three years later, he was still there, proving himself to be responsible and reliable, loving and hard-working.  

I deemed him to be good father material indeed, and surmised that his wild partying and excessive drinking and drug taking had waned into maturity as he entered his 30’s.

He had told me a story when we first got together about how one of his wild binges had temporarily blinded him for several days.  I think he realised then that his excessive consumption of alcohol and drugs had reached dangerous levels.  And this story was always a benchmark for me as I observed his behaviour over those first three years, as I tried to decide if I wanted him to be the father of my children.

I was working in an Apothecary, learning about herbal medicine by day, and building up my experience as a novice Shamanic Practitioner in the evenings when I would see clients in the treatment rooms above Bel’s Apothecary shop.

We both worked hard in our chosen passions, and spent our time together walking for hours in the nearby ancient woodlands, cooking tasty food on board ‘FreeStar’, or going out for cruises on the boat and exploring the local waterways of Yorkshire.

On one of these water adventures, we had travelled through a beautiful valley near a town called Shipley, between the Yorkshire cities of Leeds and Bradford.

It was a quiet valley, full of wildlife, where foxes were regularly seen, and owls would call to each other in the evening.

One day I came back from work, and Dan told me excitedly that he had seen a big black cat on the other side of the canal, walking alongside a wall next to the railway line.

Initially he couldn’t believe his eyes, but when he saw a local fisherman on the bank, with his mouth open wide, also staring at the big cat, he realised that this was no mere pussy cat.

He watched as the big black cat leaped effortlessly over the dry-stone wall and disappeared behind it.

Not phased at all by the potential danger of this huge wild cat, he dashed into the boat to dig out his tracking book and set off to see if he could find it.

Dan’s passion for survival, bushcraft and all things out-doorsy and adventurous meant that he had studied the tracking of wild animals.  

The cat was on the opposite side of the canal so he had to walk to the nearest bridge, a few minutes away, cross over, then find his way back to the spot where he had seen the cat on the opposite bank.

At the exact place where he had seen the cat jump over the wall, he found a paw print that was as big as his Nokia mobile phone.  He took a picture of it and showed it to me later as he was describing his day’s adventure.  It was indeed a huge cat paw print that was definitely not from a standard domestic cat.

This was not the first time I had heard tales of big black cats seen on this particular stretch of the canal, and over the years, Dan shared his tale with a few other people who had also seen such large cats on the Yorkshire waterways.

A man who lived in the lock house right next to Fishponds Lock on the other side of Leeds, shared with Dan how he had seen a big black cat regularly drinking out of his pond at night time.

A few months after Dan’s experience of seeing the Panther in Shipley, the Countryside Rangers were called out to sort out a mauled deer that had been found hanging up in a tree, in another local woodland on the canal between Leeds and Bradford.

The Rangers came to the uncomfortable conclusion that it was highly unlikely that any human would have been able to get the disemboweled deer into a tree.

Dan was pretty sure this was the work of the Black Panther.

4th January 2023 - Channelling My Spirit Guides

Perfect.  We are here.  You are here.

We like this new practise of yours, with the regular written channelling.

Where shall we begin? …

At the start.  The start of a New Year.

It has already proven to be somewhat eventful, and it will continue to be so.

It is good that you have started putting into place contingency plans.

You are beginning to listen to us and take our advice seriously.

We know sometimes you have your doubts, but we also know that you know that we speak truth and for good reason.

Everything will be alright and is going according to plan.  Trust the process.

Make sure you tie up all loose ends here in Guatemala before your possible return to England.  Plan for Guatemala contingencies.

What else… Listen to your dreams.

They are only confirming what we have already told you.

But we know you receive their wisdom as validation to quiet your own doubts regarding your channelling abilities.

You want to know about timing for this New Year of 2023? …

Well, the first half will be Fast and Furious.

The second half will be Foundational.

The building of foundations for years to come.

You will flow with both as you are fully capable of doing.

Have Trust and Faith that the timing of everything is for a reason.

Work will come in as you need it.  

Have no fear.

When will The Death come ?

It could be any time now.

We cannot be sure.

When all the pieces are in place.

That includes getting all your ducks in a row, preparing yourself, your children and your life for the possibility of a few months in England.

You are strong and resilient.

Understand that you will have a stronger and more loving relationship with Them once They cross over.

They are lonely, and will be more receptive to healing once on the other side of the Veil.

You will have work to do there too.  

Prepare yourself for that.

You are tired, there is no more to say for now. 

Fair well, speak soon, love always.

Do I have a deadline?

When must I get all these ducks in a row by?

Your deadline is the 3rd February 2023.

5th January 2023 - Channelling My Luminous Ancestors

Good.  We are here.   You are here.

This is as it should be.

We welcome your invitation and appreciate a regular opportunity to give you the benefit of our wisdom and advice.

Things are progressing.

You are listening well.

We give you the signs and you act upon them.

This is good.

Thank you for hearing us.

What do we have to tell you today?

Nothing out of the ordinary.

More of the same.

How proud we are of you.

How much we love you and those wild children of yours.

Words of Wisdom?

Not really.  Everything is going according to plan.

We just wanted to say hello really.

And tell you how much we love you.

Let our love fortify you.

You will need this fortification.

The next few months will be hard.

But you are strong, you will handle it with ease.

In some ways it will be harder for your children.

It will unbalance them in their world.

It will upset their apple cart.

But this is a learning for all of you.

They are watching you, their mother, with interest.

Watching as you prepare and pack down your house for a possible departure to England.

They adore you, you must remember this.

You did a fine thing, creating them, raising them, protecting them, fortifying and teaching them.

They are your Little Twiggies on the Family Tree.

They are our Little Twiggies too, and we want you to know that we think you are doing a fabulous job of raising them.

You were hindered by the pain, anguish and anger of your Ghost Ancestors.

But you did The Work and healed this pain.

You are indeed a Master Healer.

Your children and the relationship you now have with them are evidence of that.

If you make this trip to England (and nothing is certain yet at this stage), make the most of it.

Get your ducks in a row when you are there too.

Tie up your lose ends there, once and for all.

You will not be going back after this.

Say all your final goodbyes.

Be thankful, we have been beavering away behind the scenes to design all in perfect choreography.

Our planning will not fail.

Many of us have been through tactical warfare.

We are enjoying this opportunity to put our skills, experience and knowledge to good use within this Greater Spiritual War.

You have an experienced Military behind you to protect you, inform you and bring you great courage and fortitude.

Be well.  Be swell.

Over and out.

14th January 2023 - Channelling My Spirit Guides

What am I supposed to do about Dan?

I feel his influence is very detrimental to my children.

I realise he has a positive influence as well.

But I suppose my bias means I see more of the negative.

I don’t know how to proceed from here regarding protecting my children from his negative behaviour and influence.

All his drunken antics, talking about wanting to do loads of drugs in front of them, and working his way round every willing woman in San Pedro, every time he visits.

The children are seeing all this.  It is starting to affect them terribly.

All is not as it seems

All will be well.

He does love them.

And they love him.

This is the most important thing.

He is very lost.  In himself.

He does not know what to do, which way to go.

He numbs his confusion with distractions.

This is all he knows how to do.

But he will learn.

He must. 

Be patient.

There is no need to do anything right now.

He will come around eventually.

He did lie to you.

He never really intended to leave.

It was all just a fantasy to him.

A fantasy holiday.

A pie in the sky plan.

He never thought you would carry it out.

He’s not as brave or outgoing as you.

He just isn’t built that way.

We know you are hurt and angry at his behaviour around the children and his words to them about you.

Rise above it.  

Be the evolved and conscious being you feel you are.

You are better than that.

You are more healed than that.

Don’t let the situation stress you out.

You do you.  Do what you have been doing.

Prioritise your and your children’s safety and well-being.

Don’t compromise on that (as if!!)

He will then have a choice.

To come along for the ride or not.

But don’t try to change him.

You can’t.  Just do you.

And carry on teaching your kids the right way to be.

You receive many compliments from random people about how amazing your children are.  

It is true.

This is absolutely a reflection of their up-bringing and your choices.

It is also a reflection of their own spirits as they are wild and alive indeed.

They are different because you are their Mother.

And they chose you to be their Mother as you would challenge them, love them and give them what they need to take their own journeys through life.

And they will learn from their Father too.

Other lessons that you cannot give them.

All is well.  Do not fret so much.

The harms you perceive are not so bad as to damage them in the long term.

The bigger damage would have been to raise them in the U.K. Matrix System.

And you Escaped The Matrix.

16th January 2023 - Channelling My Spirit Guides

Yes, well, we are here, of course, as always!

We are never far, indeed.

What to tell you?

Nothing out of the ordinary, really.

We do not always have bombshell information for you.

You are cracking on with preparing yourself for this Death and the potential trip to the U.K.

As your friend Jay was saying, that old life that you left behind two and a half years ago is about to re-visit you.  

Or you will re-visit it.

But so much has changed.

Everything has changed.

And yet, for Dan, so little has changed.

This is an important reflection for you to note.

Nearly 3 years of topsy-turvy life-changing global events, and absolutely nothing has changed in his world.

He has worked very hard to stay in the same place when a tidal river is pulling him in a direction with great force.

His equal force of resistance is very strong indeed.

Stubborn and a refusal to grow, to the extreme.

This is why you must not base your decisions or choices upon him.

This will not serve you or your children.

Such wilful resistance to evolution is essentially going backwards.

It is not even staying still.

This may sound a little harsh, but it is true, and we wish to give you some allegorical context to the frustrations that we know you are feeling about him.

He has his choice and free will too.

To make such choices through - as you call it - wilful ignorance, deserves that the control of choices that affect his children should be taken out of his hands.

It is the energetic frequency of self-destruction, and that vortex so often pulls in those around the self-destructor.

But you know this.

It is good that you removed yourself far away.

Yes, we do have other things to tell you.

You must be direct with people.

Do not beat around the bush.

Truth and Honesty are Valuable.

The right people will honour and respect Your Truth.

2nd February 2023 - Channelling My Luminous Ancestors

Tell me about all the flies in the kitchen today.

It was a sudden influx of hundreds of flies that came when I was listening to Sandra Ingreman’s podcast about Ancestral Curses.

And after 5 minutes of them flying around the whole house, they left again as fast as they had appeared.  

It was very strange.

Yes.  This was a Curse Omen or Signal.

There is a Curse Looming.

But we are here with you.

We know this is hard for you.

These processes are.

Indeed you are being asked to have Faith and Trust in Us and your own abilities to perceive Spiritual Information accurately.

And yes, this is a test, a challenge, part of your own learning process.

It is all about being one who has a foot in both worlds, the worlds of Life and Death, as well as the Material and the Spiritual.

It is the ultimate act of Courage and Trust.

We understand.

We are here, supporting and holding you through this.

We are here, supporting your own Soul’s choices, and desires to learn the Deeper Mysteries.

You are an Apprentice to Death, are you not?

And so, this is a part of your Vision Quest.

Time is drawing near.

You have done well to organise much in this last month.

But you are not complete, are you?

And so there is a little more time, but do not squander it.

Same goes for the money.

Life is a juggle, for sure, and no matter who you are or where you are in this world, these Times will challenge you.

This is part of the Greater Test and Challenge for Humanity.

The Panther Pounces, The Cobra Strikes

After receiving my Medicine name of ‘Death Dreamer’, several events confirmed to me that I had indeed been given the spiritual gift to be able to receive information from Beyond the Veils regarding impending Death, mostly through my Dreams, but also with the symbols of Death that my Guides started using, namely the Panther and the Cobra.

In the summer of 2010, I had a dream where my Ancestors on my Dad’s side came to warn me that his time was short and that I needed to make amends with him before he left.  My Dad and I had been estranged for several years and didn’t talk at all.

A month or so later, the opportunity came up to see him in the form of a family reunion, a five-yearly event where lots of his side of the family get together.

I went to this reunion specifically to make peace with him, give him a hug and say my goodbyes.

A few months later he died suddenly without warning, and it confirmed to me that this nudge from the Ancestors in my dream was indeed bona fide spiritual information, intended to help us make peace with our rocky relationship before he died.

The night before my Father’s Death, I had a dream where a huge old tree came crashing down.  Also present were a Cobra, whizzing past the tree just before it fell, and a Black Jaguar lurking in the shadows.

Five years later, when Dan and I conceived our first child, I had many, many dreams which warned me about the loss of this child.  These dreams were full of black kittens and Panthers, and I even received the date of the impending Death in one of them.

I awaited this date with trepidation as my pregnancy progressed, and sure enough on the exact day I had been given in my dream, I had horrible pain, and the baby died.

Over the years as the realisations dawned of the significance of the Black Jaguar in my dreams, Dan’s own sighting of the Big Black Cat in Shipley sat uncomfortably in the back of my mind.

In 2019, just after Dan and I split, I received a strong message that I needed to travel to South Africa to see my Grandmother, who had been getting more and more frail over the previous few years.  I spoke to my Mother and we arranged to go and see her for Christmas.  It was so lovely to see her again, after such a long time, but it was bitter sweet as I knew this would be the last time I would see her.

Sure enough, in March 2020, the world locked down, the borders to South Africa closed, and the Covid restrictions in her care home meant that she did not get the usual level of care and contact that she normally received.  In this brutal isolation she swiftly deteriorated, and several months later, she died alone, without her loved ones around her, due to the inhuman Covid protocols.

After these three separate warnings of the impending Deaths of my close family members, I had started to understand more clearly the purpose and the meaning of my Medicine Name ‘Death Dreamer’.

So when my Ancestors and Spirit Guides started telling me in December 2022 that a loved one was going to pass soon, and giving me specific instructions for preparing myself to go to England, I took this warning very seriously, and I began to sort out and pack up my house in Guatemala, and organise for a friend to come and house-sit to look after my animals.

What was unusual about this Death Warning was that they wouldn’t tell me who was going to die.  The previous three times, I knew exactly who was going to pass, but they refused to tell me on this occasion.

I had assumed that it was my Mother who was leaving, as she is the oldest remaining member of my immediate family.

I understand now that my Guides couldn’t tell me that it was actually going to be Dan, because then I obviously would have tried to intervene in his suicide.

And in the bigger picture of his own Soul’s Journey, as well as the Karmic dynamics of our whole family, this interference was not allowed to happen.

My Guides told me to have all my preparations done by the 3rd February 2023.

Dan died sometime between the 4th and the 7th February, the exact date is unclear.

But it is my belief that he died on the 4th, because on the 4th, 5th and 6th, my Heart went into an anguish like I have never felt before, and I keened and cried and howled at the lake in a way I have never grieved in this life-time.

I thought I was grieving in anticipation for my Mother’s passing.

But I know now that my own Soul knew that he was gone.

Dan was found on the 7th, hanging in his boat, The Kraken.

5th February 2023 - Channelling My Luminous Ancestors

We are here, just holding you in Love as you process your Grief.

Yes, you know now this journey is real, as you feel the raw depth of loss all around you.

You also know by now that you can have these conversations with Spirits at any time, don’t you?

That we do not end when the body dies.

That the Soul lives on, journeying to a new realm, accessible still, and in many ways, more accessible than before.

You will never have in Life, the connection and relationship that your Souls actually have in Eternity.

And you will discover that they are an entirely different being in Eternity, from the person you have known in Life.

They played a role.

A hard one.